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Dating Violence Information for Teens

According to The National Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), data from a study of 8th and 9th grade male and female students indicates that 25% had been victims of non-sexual dating violence and 8% had been victims of sexual dating violence.

In the state of Massachusetts, a 2003 youth survey administered by the Department of Education (DOE) cited that eleven percent (11%) of all high school students in the Commonwealth (15% of females and 7% of males) had experienced violence in a dating relationship. Students were asked to report if they had ever been hurt physically or sexually by a date or someone they were going out with. Five percent (5%) of all students reported being hurt physically, 3% were hurt sexually, and another 3% were hurt both physically and sexually.

Sometimes teens are in a relationship and they do not realize that it is abusive. If you ever have ever found yourself wondering if your relationship (or a friend's relationship) is abusive, or something just does not seem quite right between you and your partner, please read on!

There is a lot of helpful information on this page about the warning signs of an abusive relationship, and how to get the help you need.

Are you concerned about your relationship, but not sure if it is abusive?

Here are some questions you can ask yourself. Has your partner ever done any of these things to you...

  • Does your partner call you awful names that you have asked them to stop calling you?
  • Does your partner call you names or tell you that no one else would want you?
  • Does your partner insist that you ask permission to spend money for household or personal items, even if the money is your own income?
  • Does your partner restrict what you can wear in public?
  • Does your partner embarrass you publicly or privately?
  • Does your partner keep track of everything you do?
  • Does you partner flaunt relationships or flirt with others while in your presence?
  • Does your partner tell you who you hang out with and tell you how much time you can spend with them?
  • Does your partner insult your family or friends?
  • Do you cover or make excuses for your partner's behavior?
  • Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong?
  • Does your partner force you to have sex even if you say "no"?
  • Does your partner blame you for the abuse, and tell you it's your fault because you made them so mad, and that if you try harder, the abuse will stop?
  • Do you like yourself less than usual after being with your partner?
  • Does your partner threaten to "punish you or teach you a lesson" if you misbehave?
  • Does your partner threaten to harm you, or threaten to harm themselves if you ever leave them?
  • Does your partner keep guns, knives, or other weapons close at hand?

You are not alone if you answered yes to any of these questions. 1 out of 4 teens may be in an abusive relationship. You may need our help and we can help you.

Call us at 617-868-1650 or email us at: dvip@transitionhouse.org


Has anyone ever told you that you might be abusive?
Have you ever...

  • Told your partner what to wear or what not to wear?
  • Kept track of everything your girlfriend (partner) does?
  • Picked your girlfriend's (partner's) friends or told her you hate her friends and told her to stop seeing them?
  • Monitored how much time your girlfriend (partner) spends with her friends and become angry if you thought it was too long?
  • Felt extremely jealous of anyone else your partner spends time with?
  • Demanded sex from anyone?
  • Threatened your girlfriend (partner)?

You are not alone if you answered yes to any of these questions. 1 out of 4 teens may be in an abusive relationship. You may need our help and we can help you.

Call us at 617-868-1650 or email us at: dvip@transitionhouse.org


If you are still wondering about signals that may indicate an abusive relationship, here are some additional warning signs for you to think about. Keep in mind that all relationships have conflict. If some of these warning signs seem familiar it does NOT necessarily mean that you are in an abusive relationship. But if you are worried and many of these warning signs remind you of your own relationship or a friend's relationship, please call us at 617-868-1650..

Survivor Signs

  • Are you missing out on practice and other activities in which you were once involved?
  • Have your grades in schoolwork dropped dramatically?
  • Are your boyfriends much older? (abusers often seek out much younger women)
  • Are your boyfriends always around, at every practice, etc.?
  • Do you have bruises, cuts, and other wounds from violent interaction, and have excuses for how you got them?
  • Do you try to cover body damage with clothing so others won't know you are being abused?
  • Do you highly defensive, sensitive, and emotional?
  • Are you frequently depressed?
  • Have you dramatically changed your clothing, weight, or general appearance?
  • Are you engaged in self-destructive behavior, including "cutting", binge drinking, drug use, or eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia?
  • Do you seem to be nervous all the time?
  • Are you hypersensitive to loud noises?
  • Do you feel like you are being watched?
  • Do you resist talking about your dating partner, and deny there is conflict?
  • Is there a history of violence in your family? (this is sometimes an indicator)

You are not alone if you answered yes to any of these questions. 1 out of 4 teens may be in an abusive relationship. You may need our help and we can help you.

Call us at 617-868-1650 or email us at: dvip@transitionhouse.org


Abuser Signs

  • Are you critical, negative and mean towards your dating partner?
  • Do you accuse your partner of cheating and being unfaithful?
  • Do you try to control your partner: what your partner wears, whom your partner talks to, where your partner goes?
  • Do you stalk or follow the movements of your partner?
  • When there is conflict in the relationship, are your apologies insincere and short-lived?
  • Are you short tempered?
  • Are you often angry when talking about your partner's family and friends?
  • Do you blame others, including your partner, family members, or friends, for your own wrongdoings in the relationship? Abusers rarely take responsibility for their abusive behaviors.
  • Have you had military or police training or other employment training that involves physical violence?
  • Do you use drugs and alcohol excessively?
  • Do you have an interest in weapons and access to weapons?
  • Do you have a family history of domestic violence?

You are not alone if you answered yes to any of these questions. 1 out of 4 teens may be in an abusive relationship. You may need our help and we can help you.

Call us at 617-868-1650 or email us at: dvip@transitionhouse.org


Links to Teen Dating Violence Information

Emerge: Information about Domestic Violence Intervention
http://www.emergedv.com

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
http://www.safeyouth.org

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/dating.asp

Office of the Attorney General
http://www.atg.wa.gov/violence

Drug and Alcohol Abuse Information for Teens
http://www.freevibe.com

National Institute on Drug Abuse for Teens
http://teens.drugabuse.gov

RAINN, Rape Abuse and Incest National Network
http://www.rainn.org